[Every time their lips touched it felt like something she had never felt before, and she briefly wanted to slap or shake herself for not having done this earlier. And this was so much nice than the fight that had been happening before. She playfully frowned when he pulled away, but before long a smile was playing at her lips, as if what they did was something normal and so very wanted, which. she guessed that last part was true. When he went to speak, she did too, but nothing came out but a low chuckle at how silly they were being. Again, she was surprised by the kiss that happened, but this time she responded faster. Sitting herself against the couch in a more comfortable position, bring her hands to his face and just feeling the kiss. The kiss that she admitted was a lot more…well everything than it was just moments ago, she felt everything ten times more and she’d even admit that she really loved it.]
[Hadn’t wanted anything more than this in a long time. He’d been with people, a regrettably large amount, but none had even began to feel as good as this felt. Deepening the kiss with each second, Kirby moved forward so he was over top of Lily, getting a little more comfortable as she did the same. With little room on what Kirby forgot was a couch, his body subconsciously began to turn, turning them right onto the floor, landing on his back. However, their fumble didn’t stop him, though he let out a small chuckle against her lips. With more room around them, Kirby lets his hands trail along the small of her back, sneaking under the hem of her shirt.]
Hey, Kirby Jacks. [She gave a small and weak grin before shaking her head squeezing his hand slightly.] Don’t be. However… I’m sorry. For everything. [She went silent after that not sure what to say not sure what to do. She watched his eyes watch her, Her own eyes tracing over parts of his face, searching for even a hint of some happiness, feeling the guilt built inside her, knowing she was part of the reason that she couldn’t even find a sliver. What happened next though, surprised her. In the best way possible. She hadn’t expected for him to kiss her and when her mind decided to kick in, a couple of scenarios ran through her head, slapping, running away, and kissing him back. Thankfully, she choose the last one, returning the kiss happily. Sighing against his lip slightly before continuing the kiss happy that she is finally doing what she’s been craving for the last week. No. Since high school]
[He didn’t expect her to kiss back, but he was thankful that she did. He had been wanting to kiss since high school, and having finally be able to kiss her was something that took away the pain of the passed hour. Kirby slowly pulled away for a second, his eyes tracing her face for emotion. He smiled softly, not sensing that she wanted to kill him. He opened his mouth to speak, but feeling completely speechless, he kept quite. Waiting a second and not finding any words to say, he moved back in and kissed her again, and little less shy this time around, figuring he had more of a clear than he had a second ago.]
[Boston had heard every word he said, listend and watched as he whispered the words in front of her. They had actually broke her heart, but at the same time she was angry, herself. Both of them had just had a fight, and she felt like she was wrongly getting blamed, even if she wasn’t. She also didn’t speak, she didn’t acknowledge in anyway that she heard what he said about needing a minute, she just watched him leave with wide eyes. It was a whole ten minutes before she even moved lost in her own thoughts, too much going on at once. Another three minutes passed before she got the courage to stand up and leave the room, quietly approaching the area where she knew Kirby had gone. And when she heard him still sobbing, she frowned, swallowing the lump in her throat and her own tears with it putting a strong face. Slipping next to him, she hoped he wouldn’t move. It was another fifeteen seconds when she did something she hadn’t done in ages, not since they were children. She grabbed his hand and held it in his her own. Not knowing what to say, but she sat there, hoping this would help, if only slightly]
[Kirby hadn’t cried in three years, but he sat in his living room a cried. Not loudly, or excessively, but he cried, just like he did three years ago when he lost Boston the first time. When she finally came out and sat next to him, he didn’t move. He was a little surprised when she took his hand, something she hadn’t done in years. He intertwined their fingers, but stayed silent for a minute.] Hey, Boston Lily. [He finally spoke, his voice weak, but audible. He couldn’t really find words to say, so he just kept her hand in his, looking forward rather than at her.] I’m sorry. [He said softly, turning to face her. He looked at her for a few seconds. Her face sad, just as he assumed his looked. Somehow he felt like he used to when he was around her, and especially right now. Like he didn’t have to be this player he never wanted to be. Without thinking, he took his free hand, and brought it up to the side of her face, and in one movement, he moved in and kissed her, automatically expecting her to either slap him, or pull away, at the least.]
[Taking a second to gather her thoughts, she just stood up from the bed, leaning herself against the wall, to avoid pacing. her face clearly upset. A small shake of her head was all he got] Yeah. Just as fucking thought. You know what, Kirby? I don’t know what you want me to say. The being in love with me part set aside. Because, god. I don’t even know what to say to that, right now. Not with my head as scrambled as it is right now. But again, you know what? I didn’t reject for some lame reason any other girl did. I didn’t think of some bullshit excuse. And no it’s not because you aren’t good enough for me. In fact, it’s the opposite. I let you go. Gave you up so someone else, someone who deserves the perfect you were. Are. Could have you. Giving you up has to be one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Because dammit Kirby, I’m the one not good enough, I wasn’t then. And I’m certainly not good enough now. So glad that you think my reason was bullshit, because it wasn’t. So I’m sorry, that I did what I thought was best for you, even if it killed me, I’m sorry that me doing something so painful back then made you change. But I will never be sorry for doing what I know is right for you. Or was. Is. Whatever. And as for being sick about it, you’re wrong. What makes me sick is the fact you think I would have, and the fact that you’ve written me off as something I’m not. For the record, I’m not leaving, it’s raining out and there’s still so much to settle.
[Kirby froze completely taking in what she just said to him. Speaking in almost a whisper, he finally gathered words] That wasn’t your decision to make. No one wanted me. And I thought that you didn’t either. You were.. Everything, Boston Lily. [He moved closer to her, stopping in front of her.] You were everything, and you’ve always been good enough. And even if it wouldn’t have worked, I would - and still would - risk that for you. This new me.. I don’t actually enjoy it. I would love to be that nerdy geek again but I.. I can’t. I haven’t been rejected in three years, Boston Lily. If I can’t have you.. This is all I have. [He took a step back, taking a deep breath.] I.. I can’t sit in the same room with you right now. I can’t sit here knowing what you just said to me, and what I just admitted to you. I just — I need a minute. [He stepped quickly out of the room, to the living room, where a small set of sobs escaped. This hasn’t happened in years, but if it was for anyone it would be for her]
[Eyes trained and widen as she stared at the boy now standing, a rush of guilt taking over her entire body, as she looked down, angrily her thoughts rushing everywhere but somewhere rational]. So this is my fault is it? Because you think I haven’t thought about it, or wondered why the best guy I had ever known, the guy I would have been lucky to date. Yes you heard me, Kirby, lucky to date, has turned in to the type of guy I despise. So yes, this is all about where I’m in the wrong here. It’s all my fault, my problem that I don’t think about it, me, the reason you’re the way you are. But let me ask you this, Kirby Jacks. Did you ever once and stop and think, that I wasn’t just another girl denyingyou? That there was probably a good fucking reason, I didn’t say yes? Or why there’s a good reason, I’m trying to prevent all of this from happening again, from giving you hope? Because I was fucking drunk, and clingy and horny as I always am when I’m drunk and pissed off, and so maybe what i truly felt shined through, but I’m trying to fix it now. For a good reason you jusat refuse to let be, because this again is my fault. My fault, I rejected you. My fault that I haven’t wondered about why you’re like this — which I have by the way —- it’s me who is in the wrong here, not you. Not even in the slightest. I don’t even know what I was thinking last night, or a couple days ago, or constantly for that matter.
[Paused for a minute before realizing he really had nothing else to lose. He took a deep breath, moving to sit back down next to the girl, looking over at her, small tears glimmering in his eyes] You want to know why I’m like this, Boston? Because out of all the girls who’ve rejected me, you hurt the most. Everyone has their good fucking reasons. I’m a good friend, they have feelings for someone else, dating isn’t their thing. Yeah, I get it. Fuck your reasons, Boston. I’m like this because I’ve been in love with you since the day we met. And I really, really thought that you were going to be the girl that was different. The girl who said yes to nerdy, dorky, Kirby Jacks. But you weren’t. So our friendship died along with my heart, and the old me. If you think you would have been lucky to date me, you should have, because I would’ve treated you so fucking well, Boston. I would have loved you until you didn’t want me to love you anymore. You have no idea how much I wanted that. But now, I just — This. Me. Its because I was sick of being rejected. I was sick of being that stupid nerd whose best friend wouldn’t even humor him with a date. So I’m not anymore, and I’m still not good enough for the great Boston Lily. I’m glad I didn’t take advantage of you, Lily. And I’m sure you are too. Probably would’ve made you sick knowing we slept together. [Kirby, paused, shaking his head, wiping away a tear that he didn’t realize escaped. He stood up again, moving slightly towards the door.] Just.. Leave, Boston. Get out of my apartment. Don’t speak to me, don’t come here again. Just… Go.
Yeah well, your loss. But only a one time thing on my part. We should probably forget it ever happened. Next question? How about why are you so pissed?
I — Seriously?I respected you because you were drunk out of your mind and its my loss that I didn’t take advantage of you even thought thats the only time you’ll show affection towards me? I’m pissed because you — God fucking dammit, Boston. You know why I’m pissed? I’m pissed because you just don’t — you don’t get it. [Kirby was getting angry, so he stood up from the bed, placing his plate on the night stand, turning to face her] Do you even get why I’m like this? Why I’m so disgusting? You probably don’t, Boston Lily, because you never bothered to think about it. You never bothered to wonder why i still let some of how I used to act show around you. Maybe if you would have bothered, you’d understand. Well, you’re welcome for you having sex with you even though I wanted too. I could have, Boston Lily. I could have, like all of those pigs who disgust you. But I didn’t. [He stopped abruptly, not saying anything else. Instead he just looked at her. He didn’t know if he should leave, sit back down, or what]
I’m fine really, I just won’t move from this spot on the floor. Ever.
Mm, good morning beautiful. Before you start yelling or running, I have a plate of bacon, eggs, and hash browns for you. No gravy of biscuits in sight, I promise. I’m going to help you back onto the bed now. I’ll answer all questions after breakfast.